Monday, June 21, 2004

not a mousetrap, a mouse... inconvenience

Setting himself apart, he always built his entrance facing southwest. This afforded him a view of the farmers house and the nearby stables. And had the added effect of keeping the north wind out, which was a must in these parts of Ireland. He would burrow for hours at a time, adding rooms, widening corridors. He knew one day he'd start a family, and he wanted the best for them. He left nothing to chance. He was a very meticulous mouse.
A friend once asked the mouse, why do you build rooms for children you don't have yet? Because I plan to have them, and I want to be ready. But you don't even have a wife. I know, and after I finish building my house I will find one.
I will bring her here and we will live and we will start a family. All my days and months of preperation will have not been in vain. I will be the happiest mouse in the world.
But then the unthinkable happened. The mouse was sleeping, dreaming about his future family, when he was shaken violently out of bed. At first he thought, maybe an earthquake, but that would be unheard of around here. Then the walls started to collapse around him. He ran to what he thought was the exit only to have the corridor dissolve around him. He was covered. Covered in his own house, the ceilings, floors, and walls literally melted together. Nothing was left but loose dirt.
The mouse dug his way to the surface, only to find the farmer busily plowing up the land. Why have you done this! the mouse screamed.
I had no idea, the farmer explained. I didn't realize I was plowing under your house. I truly am sorry.
So the mouse explained to the farmer how he had destoyed his dream house and how now he would never be able to find a wife and start a family.
But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving forsight may be vain;
The best-laid schemes o'mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An'lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!
(Thanks Robert Burns, right back at you!)
I realize in the title he refers to the mouse as "her" but I have to come at it from the male perspective. Cause I don't understand "her".

Sunday, June 20, 2004

Jewish mysticism is absolutely ruining pop music.

Madonna changing her name to Esther was bad enough. Now we find out Justin Timberlake is changing his name to Moses. Damn you Kabala, damn you to hell! I was just starting to get over Weird Al Yankervic changing his name to Unique Father Abraham, now I have to get used to Pink calling herself Haddatha? No way man! And don't get me started on Prince becoming a Jehovahs Witness. That one hits a little too close to the bone. Know what I mean, eh?

Thursday, June 17, 2004

The wheels are coming off the Bush/Cheney junta

The 9/11 commission, bi-partisan, independent, have stated unequivocally that Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with the attacks in New York and Washington. Osama Bin Laden regarded with a certain amount of disdain the secularism exhibited by the Saddam regime. The same disdain many in the religious right in this country have for so-called activist judges who won't allow prayer in public schools. But that's a different subject.
Despite what the commission has stated, both Bush and Cheney have continued to insist there was such a connection. But are they really saying that? I believe what the Bush campaign is trying to do is parse these statements in such a way so as to be saying one thing and implying another. That is to say, yes, there are al Qaida operating in Iraq now, but that is only the result of the chaos that ensued AFTER the invasion. And when and if they get called on these statements, they will say, yes indeed, we have evidence see, car bombings, kidnappings, these are evil-doers, we must keep fighting them. And this has the effect of scaring an already uneasy electorate into believing that we had to go into Iraq to punish Saddam for his attacking us. It boggles the mind.
I was watching that press conference in the rose garden the other day, and Bush just seems so uncomfortable in his own skin now. That sick desperation in his laugh, the shrugging shoulders, how is he going to keep this up for four more months. He will grow increasingly desperate, his lies and obfuscation will only grow in intensity. Remember the lead up to war? The tale of two state of the union addresses. The first one had the stories of Uranium in Niger, stockpiles of chemical and biological weapons, ready to use at a moments notice. A year later that all turned into "weapons related program activities." Yet millions of people still stand by this nonsense, or more likely they just believe the message spoon fed to them by the administration, stick with us and we'll protect you, just don't ask to many questions.

The State of the Union, back in 1998.

Here's an excerpt from President Clinton's 1998 State of the Union speech, hard to believe things were that good: [For 209 years it has been the President's duty to report to you on the state of the union. Because of the hard work and high purpose of the American people, these are good times for America. We have more than 14 million new jobs, the lowest unemployment in twenty-four years, the lowest core inflation in thirty years, incomes are rising, and we have the highest home ownership in history. Crime has dropped for a record five years in a row, and the welfare rolls are at their lowest level in twenty-seven years. Our leadership in the world is unrivaled. Ladies and gentleman, the state of the union is strong.
Rarely have Americans lived through so much change in so many ways in so short a time. Quietly, but with gathering force, the ground has shifted beneath our feet as we have moved into an information age, a global economy, a truly new world.
For five years now, we have met the challenge of these changes as Americans have at every turning point in our history, by renewing the very idea of America, widening the circle of opportunity, deepening the meaning of our freedom, forging a more perfect union...
We have moved past the sterile debate between those who say government is the enemy and those who say government is the answer. My fellow Americans we have found a third way. We have the smallest government in thirty-five years, but a more progressive one. We have a smaller government but a stronger nation.
For three decades, six presidents have come before you to warn of the damage deficits pose to our nation. Tonight, I come before you to announce that the federal deficit, once so incomprehensively large that it had eleven zeros, will be simply zero. Now if we balance the budget for next year, it is projected that we'll then have a sizable surplus in the years that immediatly follows.]
My how times change. We now have the largest deficit in the history of our country. November can't get here fast enough.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Leopold Bloom

I haven't read "Ulysses" yet. But in honor of Bloomsday I, along with a couple of friends are starting it. I've also been told to drink a lot of Guiness. The action in "Ulysses" takes place on June 16, 1904, making today the centenial celebration of Bloomsday. We in the dirty South love literature. And we're not averse to taking a drink every now and then. So I'd like to give a shout out to my man James Joyce, where ever he may be. Probably hanging with my man William Faulkner, enjoying a nice frosty beverage right now. Word.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Weapons Related Program Activities, or The Little Boy Who Cried Wolfowitz

I was enjoying a nice cheeseburgar and freedom fries the other day when it suddenly dawned on me. The President might have been wrong about going to war. It's just a theory but here goes. The main reason stated for going in the first place was the weapons of mass destruction. Let's face it, they're not there. And if I hear one more administration official say "just because we haven't found them doesn't mean they are not there" I'm going to scream, "Shut up you fool!"
I don't know what's scarier, the people who try to perpetrate the myth, or the people who allow the myth to be perpetrated on them. Why are millions of people in poll after poll still saying they would be willing to re-elect this lying, half-awaited, Jesus freak. I don't get it. Actually I do get it. One person said to me with a straight face, they were worried that they would pay more in income taxes at the end of the year if John Kerry was elected. At the time I should have said, "well you know this war is costing the taxpayers 6 BILLION with a "B" dollars a month. Talk about writing checks, we'll all be writing checks for a long time to pay for this absurdist nonsense. But I didn't say anything, cause I was dumbstruck. But I hope somebody says that to me again cause next time I'll be ready.
And another argument you used to hear but not so much anymore is that old chestnut about Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden being old pals who planned the whole 9/11 operation together. Saddam Hussein is a lot of things but he's no religious freak. Not like George Bush and John Ashcroft and Osama Bin Laden are. No, Hussein was a good old fashion '30's style dictator. His role model was Joseph Stalin. Oh, he found religion when those M1 Abrams tanks were rolling down the tarmac at his namesakes International Airport in Baghdad. But that's just for show. That's just to inspire the local folks in Iraq to arm themselves against the infidel American occupiers.
And some people insist it was important to get in there and put an end to Saddam's torture chambers. Ahem, yes...And then open them with plenty of oportunities for women and minorities to participate. And to ensure compliance take plenty of pictures. Now thats what I call Freedom.
Thank you W can I have another

Monday, June 14, 2004

M. Butterfly (ballot)

I'm sure most of you know, the sexiest thing you can do for democracy is vote. Show your democracy that you're a caring, gentle lover, and register in advance. And don't just clumsily vote for President and hurry off. Take the time to get to know your ballot, and vote in the local and state elections as well. Don't neglect the referendums, which is a common mistake among novice voters. The ballot is a very sensuous document, that needs attention in all areas, not just the "Presidential" boxes. Voting is a right all adults share. You should exercise that right whenever the opportunity arises. Hopefully it rises often. Oh, and if you do decide to vote, I don't recommend putting your finger on the Bush. Thank you.

Sunday, June 13, 2004

The Difference Between Here and There.

Friendliness is not a characteristic unique to the South. Although the case can be made that we're better at it than most. Maybe it's just more prevalent here. You hear about it all the time. "Everyone is just so friendly down South." Yes, yes, thank you, we know.
Here are a few things we're not good at. We're not good at getting your order right at the drive-thru. We're not good at paying local school teachers a reasonable salary. We're not good at developing responsive local government, unless you happen to be rich. We're not good at driving. We're not good at respecting each other's differences. And if we could do something about the weather, we wouldn't be good at that either.
So the next time you find yourself standing in line to renew your driver's license, take the time to say hi to the person standing next to you, cause that's friendly, and we're good at that.