Sunday, August 01, 2004


Tommorrow marks my first foray into the land of international diplomacy. First London, then Paris, and then London again. While in Paris, my first task will be to find a karaoke bar. And after I get a head of French wine in me, I'm going to hit 'em with some "Born in the USA" by the boss man himself. And if I so much as detect even the slightest bit of smarminess from any of those French sons-a-bitches, I'll break out the big guns. That's right, Charlie Daniels. "This lady may have stumbled, but she aint never fell, and if the Russian's don't believe that, they can all go straight to hell!" Of course I'll have to substitute "Frenchies" for "Russian's". Then they'll know I mean business. Then they'll know who they're dealing with.
I'll let them know that we, in America don't give a fuck what they think. And if they still haven't gotten the message, I'll borrow a little ditty from our English bretheren, a little "We are the Champions" by Queen. You know, declare victory and get the hell out. I need a few more suggestions. I want to show them that I can be soulful and jingoistic at the same time.


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