Thursday, July 14, 2005

Inherit The Spin Act III scene one

(Cheney and Bush are sharing a room at Bethesda Naval Hospital. They've been there for three days, and they have both been unconcious. Rove has given strict instructions that they not be told that he has put himself in charge. Cheney has awaken and is reading the New York Times. On the front page is an article by Judith Miller about Gitmo)

Cheney - (laying in the hospital bed, reading, laughing to himself) That's my girl. See, you bleeding hearts, Gitmo is not so bad, it says so right here in the New York Times.
(hears Bush starting to wake up)

Bush - (begining to wake up, still groggy, trying to open his eyes) Laura? Is that you Laura? Oh, my head...

Cheney - You awake Mr. President?

Bush - (opening eyes fully now) Dick? What are you doing here? Where's Laura? Where are we?

Cheney - You fell off your bike - again. You're in the hospital, apparently still alive. I think I had another heart attack. We need to get a hold of Karl, and let him know we are OK. If I know that fucker, he probably locked down the White House,and is pretending to run the country now.

Unidentified voice - It's worse than you think, Dick.

Cheney - Who's there? Karl? Scooter?

(a man walks in dressed as a surgeon complete with surgical mask obscuring his face. he moves quickly towards Cheney and Bush)

Unidentied man - We don't have much time guys, this things getting out of control.

Cheney - You're not the doctor! How'd you get in here!

(the man takes off the mask, revealing who he is: Joe Wilson)

Wilson - It seems there has been an attempted coup by Rove. He hasn't told anyone that you and the president are in the hospital. And now, he's preparing another invasion.

Bush - An invasion? (scratches head) But doctor, if there was an invasion, I'm certain I would have known about it.

Wilson - (to Cheney) Is he serious?

Cheney - Just ignore him, he's fallen off his bike one to many times. Now tell me about this plot. How did you learn of it.

(enter Valerie Plame dressed as a nurse)

Plame - I told him.

Bush - Excuse me, nurse, could I get some juice please?

Cheney - (waves to Plame to pay no attention) Now how the hell did you get in here? Is there ANY security at all for me and the president. Jesus Christ!

Plame - Listen Dick, the biggest threat to your securtiy is that maniac Rove. He's the biggest threat to the whole countries security, believe me, I know.

Wilson - Right now, it just appears that Rove is the only major White House staffer involved.

Plame - Well, him and Gannon.

Cheney - Gannon! He just wants to be close to Rove. He's got a thing for him you know.

Wilson and Plame - We know.

Bush - Gannon, that name sounds familiar.

Wilson - (ignoring Bush) Rove has raised the terror alert to code red, he has told the White House press corp the two of you are at an undisclosed location.

Bush - I'm pretty sure we're in the hospital.

Cheney - (rolls eyes) Listen to me George, we're in a serious situation here. Remember "The Very Hungry Caterpillar?"

Bush (looking fearful) Yes.

Cheney - That's the kind of trouble we are in.

Bush - Are we going to Nebraska?

Cheney - I don't know what we are going to do. (looks to Wilson and Plame) What's the plan guys.

Wilson - Well, the first thing we do, is get you two back to the White House.

Plame - But we need to do it in such a way so as to surprise Rove and Gannon so they don't get away.

Wilson - And with the White House in lock-down it will be difficult to get in. But I know a secret way.

Cheney - What?

Plame - (hits Wilson, turns to Cheney) Never mind that now. First we got to get you out of here. (hands a bag to Cheney and Bush) Here, put these on.

(Cheney and Bush start pulling items out of the bags. brightly colored wigs, big red noses, extra large, floppy shoes)

Cheney - Clown outfits! No fucking way!

Plame - You'll have to, it's the only way to get past your own security.

Wilson - We don't know who's working for Rove and who's not.

Bush - (laughing) Now I like this. This is an idea I can get behind. Who makes clown shoes anyway?

Cheney - Just put it on and shut up.

Wilson - Hurry guys, there's not much time

(Cheney and Bush finish dressing quickly, and are led off stage by Wilson and Plame. End scene one.)


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